The Ultimate Skill e-Newsletter

By Mike Lipkin

I'm excited about this newsletter because I'm going to share with you The Three Commitments that will help you acquire the Ultimate Skill. So what's The Ultimate Skill according to Lipkin? It is to be someone who creates opportunity for others, with others; it is to be someone who expands the capacity of others to create remarkable results; it is to be someone who introduces others to new possibilities; it is to be someone who motivates others to see themselves as extraordinary; it is to be someone who shows It Can Be Done so others believe they can do it. In essence, The Ultimate Skill is to help others live at such a level that they thrive not just survive.
 
The Three Commitments that will help you achieve The Ultimate Skill

Here is the first of The Three Commitments:
 
Hold yourself to standards that other people think are unreasonable. Give up your right to go back. Forward, always forward. If you give your word, honor it. Burn your excuses. Because you'll either get results or you'll have excuses why you didn't get results. Alibis don't count.
 
Mastering The Ultimate Skill means having Unreasonable Standards. Live this truth and a whole new reality will open up for you. Impossible is primarily a state of mind. Excuses are the real obstacles. Get out of your own way so you can clear the path for others.
 
Here is the second of The Three Commitments:
 
Play Full Out. Play like your life depends on it. It does. Every day. Because every day is your life in miniature. Your mental and physical muscles develop in direct proportion to the exertion you demand of them. People give up because their muscles are weak. And their muscles are weak because they're not exercised. There is no short cut. There is no easy walk to self-actualization.
 
Your natural gifts are one thing. Your worthiness of your gifts is another. You prove your worthiness by your willingness to develop your gifts. At any cost.  An Olympic athlete must have a natural gift. But it's the hours of daily training that make her ready to compete.
 
My gift is exciting people through the written and spoken word. But writing and speaking are disciplines I can only develop through writing and speaking. I can read all I want. I can listen all I want. But I develop my gift by speaking and writing so frequently and so consciously that I am my words when I'm writing or speaking them. These words are who I am. These words are what I do. These words are what you can count on.
 
I write a new program every eighteen months and I talk three to four times a week because if I don't, three things will happen: my muscles will go flabby, I will become irrelevant and I won't help anyone become anything. And I will never allow that to happen.
 
What are your gifts? How are you developing them every day? Are you playing full out? Or are you neglecting your gifts, and your destiny? Now would be an outstanding time to resuscitate them.
 
Every act is an investment in a habit. Every word is an investment in a conversation. Every conversation is an investment in a relationship. Every day in every way, you're investing in who you're becoming next.
 
The Ultimate Skill is a prize that only goes to people who are fully engaged. Playing full out alone doesn't guarantee you The Ultimate Skill. But not playing full out ensures that you never acquire it. Why? Because passion talks. Emotions are contagious. Creating opportunity for others, with others, so they live at their highest level takes the highest octane energy imaginable. One degree of disengagement can derail everything.
 
Here is the third of The Three Commitments:
 
Be open to everyone and everything. Let go of whatever doesn't serve you anymore. Listen newly. Leave the past in the past, don't put it in your future. Be aware of your instinctive urge to discard or invalidate others' points of view. Ask yourself the liberating questions: What happens if he's right? What's valuable about their point of view? Where's the breakthrough in their perspective? How can her opinion open up a solution?
 
Throughout this program, you'll have abundant opportunities to be open to everything. In fact, I'm willing to bet you've already disagreed with a few things I've written so far. That's great. I don't want you to agree with me or, for that matter, anyone else around you. If two people always agree with each other, one of them may not be necessary. We can disagree and still be in alignment – as long as we have a common goal. In our case, it's acquiring The Ultimate Skill.
 
Watch people in meetings. Watch them shut down when they're resisting somebody's point of view. Watch the negative energy that is generated when people equate disagreement with personal rejection or invalidation. From now on, be aware of your openness. And, in quest of The Ultimate Skill, open up the channels so others can communicate fully. To borrow from Gandhi, "be the communication you want to see in the world".
 
Of all the things I've already asked you to do, this may be the most challenging. Being open to everyone and everything means always being aware of being aware. It means being conscious of your self without being self-conscious. It means switching off the cruise control button so everything is deliberate. There is no time-out for good behaviour. It can be exhausting. It can also be so phenomenal you want to cry with gratitude.
 
I have one final request before we move on. It's a Big Audacious Request: Forgive everyone for everything. Now. By forgive, I don't mean forget. Those memories are part of your mental DNA. I mean let go of the need to punish them. Give up the right to hold what they've done against them. Diffuse your anger. Accept what has happened and don't hate them for it. Hate and Anger will make you sick. Hate and Anger will also destroy your access to The Ultimate Skill because Hate and Anger will shut you down.
 
I'm curious: if this message were to end right here, what spirit would you be left with? I hope it would be humility, possibility, excitement, anticipation, confidence, awe, love, connection, power, contribution, delight, wonder and gratitude.
 
None of those states would be possible if I was a carrier of hate and anger. I'll share this with you: just like you, not everyone in my life has always come through for me. Not everyone has followed through on their commitments. Not everyone has great things to say about me. I have my champions and I have my detractors. Some people like to build me up and some would tear me down. Good people can do bad things to others – intentionally or not. It comes with the territory.
 
The more successful you become, the more criticism and resistance you attract. It's called being significant. People talk. Some will admire you. Others will envy you. If you focus on your detractors and defaulters and what they've done to you, you will get more detractors and defaulters. If you complain about what you don't want, you'll get more of what you don't want.
 
So don't take the poison and hope the other rat dies. Cleanse your emotional system. Forgive each person whoever hurt or diminished you. And remember, no matter how thinly you slice it; there are always two sides to every story. In fact, the thing that you're angry or hateful about may never have happened. You may have told yourself a story that is not the facts. And the thing you fear happening a second time, may not have happened the first time.
 
I can almost see you shaking your head in disagreement. Remember The Third Commitment and stay with me. Have you ever believed something, only to discover later that you were wrong? How many times? In my case, it's daily.

So if you're going to tell yourself a story, make it an empowering one. Give the other person the benefit of the doubt.

- Mike Lipkin

 

Watch for the next issue of The Ultimate Skill e-Newsletter, and make sure to tune in to the next
On Fire TV and Radio episodes, as Mike guides you step-by-step to where you want to go for 2007. You will find out what it takes to thrive, not just survive! 

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