The Ultimate Skill e-Newsletter

By Mike Lipkin

Rule #1: Create Yourself Now

Choose who you’re going to be. Then consciously be yourself (but don’t be self-conscious).

Here are five questions for you to answer right now. Write down your spontaneous thoughts:

• Who are you?
• How did you become who you are?
• Who do you want to be?
• How are you going to be who you want to be?

Here’s what I wrote down:

Who are you, Mike Lipkin? I am a highly motivated guy who loves talking to people. I’m the most enthusiastic person I know. I get a kick out of making people excited. I love creating new ways to help people win. I want to be admired for my ability to help people live lives they love. I’m a communication machine. I believe in miracles.

How did you become who you are, Mike Lipkin? I was born with loud genes. I was raised in a crazy household - my mother was an artist and I hardly knew my father, who died young. I spent eleven years in the advertising industry where I learnt to sell almost anything to almost anyone. I was clinically depressed from 1990 to 1992. My third child, Dani-Emma, was conceived the day I recovered. My depression motivated me to become a motivational speaker and writer. Over the past fifteen years, I have read, listened and spoken to people who have the Ultimate Skill. Now it’s my turn to transfer it to others. I am surrounded by extraordinary people who expand me every day.

How do you like being who are, Mike Lipkin? I love it. I am who I’ve always wanted to be. There are times when I don’t like myself and that’s horrible. But that’s the same in every relationship. It’s also tough being me because I’m the “Great Motivator” who has to walk the talk almost every day. The price is high but the price is right. My life is a fairy tale.

Who do you want to be, Mike Lipkin? I want to be acknowledged by the people I care about as the world’s best motivator. I want to sustain my ability to perform at the highest level. I want a still mind and a strong heart. I want to live in total integrity. I want the resources that enable me to go anywhere and do anything at any time. I want to be an example of What Can Be Done so thousands of people Do It.

How are you going to be who you want to be, Mike Lipkin? I am going to create my game-plan. I’m going to execute it with passion and commitment. I’m going to learn from everyone and everything. I’m going to live with a heightened sensitivity to the promise of life. I am going to feel my gratitude and express it every day. I going to declare every day as a great day and then make it so. That is how I am going to become who I want to be.

I am living my destiny. I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. I am in the right place at the right time doing the right thing with the right people. I love the communities I belong to – my family, my colleagues, my clients, my friends, my city, my country and my world. I am using my gift in the most powerful way to benefit the most people. I’m also stretching my capacity to reach even more people through more mediums. The internet has multiplied my impact hugely and I’m only beginning to understand how to use it.

As you read this, I forgive you for thinking that no-one has it this good. You’re right. There’s a dark side to the Good Life. It’s the relentless pressure. The inflated expectations. The 200 nights a year spent in hotel rooms from Kiev to Johannesburg. The aches, fevers and pains of an aging body yielding to the stress it’s subjected to. It’s the angst that visits me at 2am in the morning and refuses to leave until dawn. It’s the criticism that still cuts deep after all these years.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because, for good or bad, I created myself. I chose me. I’m the deliberate result of a deliberate strategy. I morphed from being an employee in a global advertising agency to an independent Motivational researcher, speaker and writer.

Whoever you are is a story you’ve made up about yourself. You’ve interpreted the signals from your experiences, family, community and environment to mean whatever you’ve made them mean. They may not mean what you’ve made them mean. But you’ve been living with them for so long; they’ve become real to you. Your story has become your reality. And even if your reality is not the reality you wish it could be, at least it’s your reality. It’s a place you’ve grown used to.

If you’re reading this, I know you’ve read many other stories about personal transformation. What is the common theme running through these narratives? Of course. It’s the Big-Event that transforms one’s view of the world and one’s role in it. It’s the birth, the death, the near-death, the beginning of a relationship, the end of a relationship, or an encounter with the miraculous.

Why wait for the Big-Event to transform you so you can live your life at the highest level and help others do the same? Why be reactionary? Why tread water when you can take the wave now? I’ll tell you why? Because your life may be good enough. You may be happy enough. You may not be standing on a burning platform. There may not be an urgent need.

Create one. If you don’t, something else will. That’s the way life works. You don’t need me to tell you that, but you may need me to remind you. In fact, I’ll predict that your personal tsunami is on the way. It’s already surging towards you. Get ready now.

I don’t tell you this to alarm you. I tell you this to excite you into action. I tell you this because we’re playing a game where the prize is The Ultimate Skill. And if you want to win the prize, you need to see yourself as extraordinary so you can be someone who motivates others to see themselves as extraordinary.

Let’s pause. Take a break. Because the next question is a Big One.

Did you deliberately and consciously create the person called you?

Or have you evolved unconsciously through the years into the person called you?

Is there a part of you that has been numbed down or dumbed down?

Is there a voice within you that’s not being heard?

How much more could you be?

How much more could you give?

How Big is Your Want?

Let’s explore the four steps to Creating Yourself Now so you can help others live at such a level that they thrive, not just survive. Here’s Lipkin’s way to achieve an extreme makeover from the inside out. And by the way, I know how huge this subject is. I know the limitations of offering you guidance in a few words. But when the student is ready, the teacher appears. I know you’re ready, because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be reading this. So here goes:

Step 1: Within the realm of possibility, who would you be and what would you do that would make you happy, fulfilled and financially successful? Do you have a dream that’s so delicious, it consumes you?

Don’t hold back on this one. This is the time to fantasize. Stretch the realm of possibility to the maximum. Dream the possible dream. Indulge yourself. Don’t shortcut this step.

If you were living at the very edge of your personal nirvana, what would you be doing? How would you be doing it?
What kind of person would you be?

Those who dream by day, said Edgar Allan Poe, see far more than those who only dream by night. Day-dreaming is a powerful technique for discovering what’s possible. So before you move on to the next step, put your feet up. Relax. And dream about the most important person in your life: the You of tomorrow. Think about it: if you have a partner or children, you have a huge commitment to their future well being. They’re dependent on your contribution to have the best lives they can. But no-one is more dependent on you than the You of tomorrow. And the You of tomorrow is being created with your every thought, word and action today. So don’t sow mediocre-grade seeds. Sow the choicest ones imaginable.

At the most basic level, there are only two kinds of people in the world: those who impose limits on themselves and those who don’t. What kind of person are you? If you’re not living without limits, why would you not remove them now? Why would you live another minute holding yourself back. There are enough external suppressors without you pressing your own suppression button. So don’t play it safe. At the deepest level, you’re killing yourself softly with your own song.

By the way, I’m not suggesting that we don’t have limits. That would be delusional. I am acutely aware of my limits. I just don’t impose them on myself. So, I would never take on being the best in the world at something that is outside my Extraordinary Talent or Primary Promise (I explain these two concepts below). But within my Extraordinary Talent or Primary Promise, I’m capable of achieving goals beyond my dreams.

How do I know? Because on March 6 2006 it happened. And on April 2 2007, it happened again. I have an association with Canada’s leading seminar company, The Powerwithin. I first conducted a sales program for them in front of 1500 people in 2004. Over the course of 2005, I completed a series of successful programs for them. Then On March 6 2005, in front of 7000 people, I shared a platform with Bill Clinton and Lance Armstrong in Ottawa, Canada. I followed this up on April 2 2007, where I shared a platform with Anthony Robbins and Bill Clinton in front of 5000 people in Montreal, Canada.

That’s like winning back-to-back World Series for me. Every time, I need an emotional charge, I think about those moments. I think of being aligned with those two giants. I think about the standing ovation I was awarded both times. I think about the energy generated by so many thousands of people. I think about the difference, big or small, I made in 12 000 people’s lives. And in a heartbeat, I’m ready to believe anything is possible, all over again. Salim Khoja, CEO of Powerwithin, I thank you one more time.

It’s all about the dream, baby! People who have The Ultimate Skill are driven by a dream that constantly refreshes and renews itself. Their dreams are as real to them as the things they do every day to achieve them. Their dreams are constantly at the forefront of their mind, guiding and pushing them to do whatever it takes to achieve them.

Hey, don’t just take my word for it. Think about the people you know who have The Ultimate Skill. Think about their focus. Think about their energy. Think about their relentless passion. Think about the level of engagement they bring to their work. Think about the vision that saturates their everyday behaviour. Now think about yours. Does a dream run through it?

My intention in sharing my dream with you is to excite you into creating your dream and sharing it with me. The moment you create it and share it, you’ve begun to realize it. We’re dream-weaving together. You’ve allowed me to declare mine. Now allow me to reciprocate. Declare yours to me. Now – go directly to your computer and e-mail it to me – mike.lipkin@environics.ca. Even if you’ve never defined it, you’ll have made a start. And that’s the way all dreams begin.

Step 2: Play to your Personal Power: Identify and develop your extraordinary talent.

My extraordinary talent (ET) is exciting people through writing and talking. As you can see, I’m leveraging my ET right now. It’s almost midnight on a gorgeous December evening in Johannesburg, South Africa. And there is almost nothing else I’d rather be doing right now than partnering with you to transfer The Ultimate Skill.

So what is your ET? You know you have one. It’s the talent that has always seemed natural to you. It’s what you’ve always been good at. It’s what powers your value-ability. It may be planning, leading, organizing, analyzing, computing, drawing, designing, connecting, facilitating, selling, reassuring, comforting, engineering, cheering, cleaning, parenting, healing, or loving. It’s the one thing you’ve always been able to depend on. It’s the thing you find easy that other people find hard. Express it in a single sentence and e-mail it to me. The Ultimate Skill will flow from your ET.

Once you know your ET, you need to develop it to the point of mastery. I see many people who take their ET for granted. Or they diminish its significance. Somehow, because THEY have it, it’s not as valuable as someone else’s. They focus on their weaknesses. And they live a life of mediocrity. So celebrate your ET. Build it. And the rest will come. If you don’t, you may continue to get what you’ve always got. Or, you may lose it slowly or suddenly.

Invest generously in yourself. If you’re not your own champion, who else will be? If you’re stingy with yourself, you will suffer the fate of the miser in Aesop’s classic fable:

A Miser sold all that he had and bought a lump of gold, which he buried in a hole in the ground by the side of an old wall and went to look at daily. One of his workmen observed his frequent visits to the spot and decided to watch his movements. He soon discovered the secret of the hidden treasure, and digging down, came to the lump of gold and stole it. The Miser, on his next visit, found the hole empty and began to tear his hair out and make loud lamentations. A neighbor, seeing him overcome with grief and learning the cause, said, “Pray do not grieve so; but go and take a stone, and place it in the hole, and fancy that the gold is still lying there. It will do you quite the same service; for when the gold was there, you had it not, as you did not make the slightest use of it.”

So don’t be a miser with yourself or you will live a life of Misery. Grow your ET abundantly. Make massive use of it. And it will serve you well.

Step 3: Understand Your Primary Promise: Make it. Keep it. Love it.

Your Primary Promise (PP) is the unique benefit that only you can give others. It’s what differentiates you from everyone else in your space. It’s what makes you special. It’s the reason why people would walk a mile for a taste of what you’ve got.

Your PP is the consequence of your ET. Your ET is how you deliver it. Your PP is what you deliver. So my PP is “I help people play big so they achieve remarkable results.” That’s what this program is all about. I want you to break through the constraints you’ve imposed on yourself. I want you to surprise and delight yourself. I want you to inspire everyone in your life to do the same.

Think carefully. But be bold. Your PP is your chief access to The Ultimate Skill. It’s the pipeline through which you deliver value to others. It must flow from your ET. It must be compelling. It must be uniquely you. Express it in a single sentence and e-mail it to me. Don’t worry if it doesn’t feel like “The One”. It may take several iterations before you land on your PP. The main thing is that you’re not stuck in inertia. Take it one step at a time, but take it. Forward, always forward.

By the way, as you think about delivering your PP, you should be experiencing intense pleasure. When I think of someone playing big and achieving remarkable results because of me, I want to cheer them on wherever I am. Yes! Yes! Yes!

Step 4: Define your personal integrity. And Live it

Quick: what does Integrity mean to you? Is it honesty? Trustworthiness? Truthfulness? Being straightforward? Goodness?

Those are the definitions I hear most often from delegates to my seminars. And they’re right. But that’s the most basic definition of Integrity. That’s table stakes. If you lie, cheat or steal, you’ll be immediately disqualified. That’s the level of integrity that will help you survive.

I’m talking about the next level of integrity. I’m talking about what makes you whole. I’m talking about the values that bind you together. I’m talking about your personal code that you have to honor with every word and action. I’m talking about the internal forces that determine how you feel and how you respond to every person and every situation.

Here’s my personal code of values that generate my way of being:

1. Vitality – Every day, I create mental, emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing. Without my mojo, nothing is possible. Vitality is the fuel that drives everything else. Health is not a divine right; it’s a privilege I earn every day. I design rituals that build my stamina to perform at extraordinary levels.

2. Growth – Every day, I expand my personal capacity by learning new distinctions and insights that I can share with others. I live to learn and I learn to live at the highest level. I am a perennial student and everyone is my teacher. Every experience serves me, especially the ones that hurt.

3. Contribution – Every day, I give something to others with no expectation of reward. I attract abundance by being abundant. Generosity is good business. I condition myself to live north of the Expectation Line. I live in the Land of Above and Beyond. Giving is how I get what I want.

4. Connection – Every day, I hang with magical people. I become the company I keep so I keep great company. I reach out to them. I recruit them. I call them. I listen to them. I am inspired by them and I inspire them in return. I earn the right to be with them.

5. Adventure – Every day, I live with maximum intensity. I see my world through fresh eyes. I discover new ideas. I go to new places – literally and figuratively. I experiment with new approaches. Every time is my first time. I walk the line of what I know and what I don’t.

My code of values is the reason why I create a new program every eighteen months. That’s why I confront the challenge of the blank page, knowing that I need to generate about 80 000 words to transfer my insights to you over the course of the game. But I need that scariness to stimulate my imagination. Creating The Ultimate Skill is The Ultimate Rush for me. It’s like running my personal Amazing Race every time. I love it at the start. And I’m always astonished at the finish. Somehow, it always comes together just the way it should.

My code of values is also the reason why I deliver 160 seminars a year. I still feel the hit of terror before every engagement. I still whisper my pre-talk prayer to the Great Motivator in the sky before I go on stage. Every seminar is like my entire career because most people have never heard me before. They will take an impression of me away with them that could last the rest of their lives. Based on their impression, I will either have a promoter or a detractor sharing their views on me with their communities. And in the age of the Blogosphere, one person’s point of view can become the tipping point.

The pressure is intense but it is pressure that turns coal into diamonds. Without the pressure, there’s no juice in it for me. That’s where I develop BGT – Big Game Temperament. That’s what the game is all about. When I’m faced with an audience of 500 to 5000 people, I hum at my highest frequency. Every word and every gesture has to land with power and meaning. I must be spontaneous and human. I have to offer myself without fear or reservation. And it all has to come together in a seamless exhibition of fluency and confidence. Just writing about it gets my pulse racing.

You may be experiencing a very different response right now. That’s because you have your own personal code of values. What is it? Now would be a perfect time to define it. Think about what drives you. Think about what is most important to you. Think about what gives you the most pleasure. Think about who you have to be and what you have to do to be happy, fulfilled and guilt-free. Then rank your values in order of priority. Then share them with others, beginning with me. E-mail them to me. Once again, this will take time. Don’t rush it, but begin now.

A conscious, self-created code of values is your personal declaration of independence. It’s taking control of your own destiny by living your life by your rules, not the rules that someone may have laid down for you. No-one knows what’s right for you. You are a sovereign individual. You are invested with great power. And with great power comes great responsibility. Use it. Or lose it.

Use your Extraordinary Talent. Or lose it.

Use your Primary Promise. Or lose it.

Live your Personal Integrity. Or lose it.

Live into your future dream state. Or lose it.

Stay tuned for the next issue…

- Mike Lipkin

 

Watch for the next issue of The Ultimate Skill e-Newsletter, and make sure to tune in to the next
On Fire TV and Radio episodes, as Mike guides you step-by-step to where you want to go for 2007. You will find out what it takes to thrive, not just survive! 

And be sure to sign-up now to get up-to-the-minute news on Mike's next public seminars!